Boundaries have been coming up a lot lately. We often think of them as something that we set for other people's access to us.
An analogy that I loved was that an unhealthy thing to do is to build a wall and keep everyone out but a boundary is like a fence with a gate and that is the way that people get to have access to you. At the gate, not just anywhere.
I think that something that isn't talked about as much is personal boundaries. The boundaries that you have with yourself.
To hold yourself accountable. To call yourself out on your sh*t.
A big one for me is saying no when I want to instead of saying yes and making other people's needs and wants more important than my own.
This means taking time to feel if I want to say yes or no, allowing myself to change my mind on plans because I said yes without taking that time.
The biggest one has been not making myself that 'manager' of anything but my own life. It is not my responsibility to plan, follow up with or organize anyone else but myself (and my doggo).
I didn't realize that I was doing this until I had less energy to invest outside of myself and saw that I was still running an old conditioned pattern of people pleasing that I wasn't able to see easily.
When we desire to eat healthier, be a more present parent, move our bodies more, take time for ourselves, we often start well but these things can fall by the wayside because life is busy and it is easier to break our personal boundaries before we have to disappoint someone else.
We let the systems that we put in place to help us succeed become an option. Don’t treat yourself, your dreams and the woman that you desire to be an option.
Here is a little checklist that I use with my energy.
⚡️Do I want to?
⚡️Do I have the capacity?
⚡️Will this affect me negatively tomorrow or later?
⚡️Am I putting something else off that is important to me and my growth if I say yes?
⚡️Am I saying yes to appease?
⚡️Will I be happy that I said yes after the fact?
Where do you need to set a boundary with yourself? Share in the comments below.